Weekly Recaps

TONAWANDA, NY – With just two weeks to play, the league championship was looking to be all but secured by Tom Barbops. But for the second straight week he failed to perform and choked under the pressure of Jeff Lukasavich and Mark VeRost. Now, a number of participants are within striking distance of the league leader. Week-5 started off with Lukasavich scoring a hole-in-one on his first hole and lipped out the next for a 2. From there, he only lost honors for just one hole as he scored a personal best 38, beating the 2^nd place finisher Tim Roesch by two strokes for the Open Championship. “Things felt right today.” said Lukasavich after the round. He continued “I knew coming into this week I needed to post a score in the 30’s in order to finish in the money. If I didn’t, one of these jamokes would falsify their scores again just to wear the allusive green jacket. But I was on my game and I expect to wear the green jacket again next week.” Moving to 3^rd place overall, he was asked if he thought he could catch Barbops. He was quick to respond “The SOB is a choke artist. He said it himself today. I would be surprised if he breaks 50 next week. Mark my words, he’s going to post a laughable score next week.” Barbops didn’t deny the fact he has a tendency to choke but doubts he will post a score in the 50’s. With an average score of 42 after 5-weeks, Barbops posted a questionable 43, good for 4^th place and good enough to retain his position atop the league leader-board. Some bystanders were questioning Barbopooulos’ scorecard saying they saw his performance and feel as if he may have pulled a “Trzewieczynski”, a term synonymous with stroke-shaving. Barbops denies any wrongdoing and welcomes any investigation. Their playing partner certainly didn’t shave any strokes off his score. Mark VeRost finished tied for 8^th place as he posted a 47. His score dropped him to 6^th overall. Moving into the 5^th spot overall, posting a very respectable 40, was Whitey Ondak. Taking an 8 on hole-12 last week, he was determined to redeem himself. He was able to hit the ball through the sand on his 1^st attempt, not 3^rd, this week and scored a 2 on the hole. Ondak posted all 2’s and 3’s this week and said he’ll be practicing for the finale and wants the green jacket more than an ice pick on a hot summer day. Playing with Ondak was Vegas favorite Scott Wilson. Wilson posted a respectable 22 on the front but crumbled once again on the back, shooting a 47, good for an 8^th place tie. Wilson stayed at 8^th place overall. One stroke off Wilson was Joe Neeson, scoring an 11^th place 48. Struggling out of the gates, Neeson scored a 28 on the front-nine but rebounded with a 20 on the back. Neeson sits one spot behind Wilson in 9^th place overall. In the 3^rd group was Jeff Kelly, Brian Kimpel and special guest Jeff Hewitt. Kelly, who missed week-4, showed up early to make up his missed week and turned in a scorecard that read 40. The problem was Kelly shot a 38 not a 40. Known as the “Reverse Trzewieczynski”, this accounting error cost him valuable points in the overall standings. Clearly shaken by this turn of events, a profusely perspiring Kelly went from a what would have been week-4 best score 38 to a week-5 worse score 50. With back to back 25’s, Kelly was clearly not feeling it in his second round of the night. Kelly sits in 2^nd place overall but will likely move down a few spots when the make-up rounds are played. Playing partner Brian Kimpel didn’t fair much better, shooting a faulty 49. Kimpel scored three 4’s on the front in taking a league worse 28 on the front and finished in 12^th for the week and 11^th overall. Playing with Kelly and Kimpel was special guest Jeff Hewitt. Hewitt proved he had what it takes to play on the tour by shooting a league best back-nine 18 with 3 holes-in-one and a 41 overall. Hewitt was not impressed with the competition the league had to offer saying “If I were on the tour, I would have taken the green jacket home at least once by now. A few of these players should be playing from the ladies tees.” Hewitt’s confidence is welcome next season. Rounding out the day was Tim Roesch, Dean Trzewieczynski and Kevin Kelly. After being stripped of the green jacket last week, Trzewieczynski recorded an 8^th place 47. Two strokes better was Kevin Kelly who shot a 5^th place 45. And rounding out the group was Roesch who, despite playing in the last group, came in 2^nd place with a 40 and one hole-in-one. Roesch’s second place finish was his best finish of the day. After several consecutive weeks of controversies what the league needed was a slow news week. And it was looking to be just that until what is being called the “Battle of Beef” ensued. Over a few beers and wings, self-proclaimed food critic Scott ‘Ham Bone’ Wilson provided his list of top-10 places in WNY to find a good roast beef sandwich. After naming off such hot-spots such as Bar Bill in East Aurora, Suzy Q’s in Riverside, and Brick Yard in Lewiston, he included everyone’s favorites Arby’s, Andersons, Swistons, Santoras, and Old Man River, and rounding off his top-10 with Ken East High School’s café and finally his grandmother’s retirement home, Briarwood. With most listeners in agreement, Tim ‘The Butcher’s Son’ Roesch wouldn’t stand for such insult and challenged Wilson to take his opinions outside. The two heavyweights had to be restrained by Kimpel and Barbops and separated until their tempers subsided. Wilson had no idea he was Charlie The Butcher’s son and asked “Who the fuck is Charlie and why should I give a fuck he is his son?” When explaining that Charlie the Butcher was a restaurant in Buffalo and specializes in roast beef, Wilson felt guilty and apologized for his ignorance. “I feel bad. I didn’t know. Does he have a food truck?” further infuriating Roesch. “Fuck him. Fuck food trucks. Fuck you all.” said an angry Roesch. “I’ll show him who has the best beef. Give me a few minutes and I’ll show him. He’s never tasted my beef and until he does, he’s nothing to me. My beef is the best.” We’re not sure what Roesch is referring to exactly so we’ll just wait and see what transpires over the next couple of weeks.   Prior to Wednesday’s matches, Tim Remy and Joe Mills pre-golfed and recorded a 45 and 46 respectively. In talking with workers at the Dome, no incidents were reported despite the track record and cloud of controversy that follows this duo. League officials are hoping for more pre-golf from these two.   Week-5 Fun Facts:

• Average Score: 45.00 (.71 strokes better than last week)
• Total Holes-in-One: 3 (4 fewer than last week, 9 fewer than week-2)
• Best Front-9 week-5: 19 – Roesch
• Best Back-9 week-4: 18 – Special Guest Jeff Hewitt!
• Most Improved (w4-w5): -12 – Roesch & Lukasavich
• Biggest Drop (w3-w4): +9 – Jeff Kelly
• Only three golfer STILL haven’t recorded an ace: Wilson, Flemming and Steck
• Neville, VeRost and Trzewieczynski lead with 5 holes-in-one
• Barbops has recorded the fewest total strokes over 5-weeks, 5 ahead of Lukasavich
• The average score is a 45.9, 5.1 strokes below par 51
• Harald is the only golfer to average a score above par, 52.5