Weekly Recaps
Post-round write-ups from the commissioner
TONAWANDA, NY –
Heading into the inaugural Putter-In-Hand season finale, one can look back at the salacious events of the season and think ‘it can’t get any more controversial’. For the most part, that was the case, until the weekly recap was being written. It was then that the largest controversy of the season was revealed.
16 putters had completed their round and everyone convened with friends and family members for the announcement: who was going to be crowned champion? Was Tom Barbops going to hold on to his large lead or was he going to choke as he predicted weeks before? Was Jeff Lukasavich going to leapfrog Barbops and take his own league’s title? Was Jeff Kelly going to maintain his slow and steady pace to victory? Was Whitey Ondak going to show the youngsters he still has game left? Or was someone outside the leading foursome going to come from behind to take the title?
The scorecards were turned in and league officials had entered them into the system. The results were in, Jeff Kelly was announced the winner and handed the 1st place trophy and cash prize. Everyone then enjoyed themselves at the after party and well into the night.
Days later, in preparation for this article, the scorecards were reviewed by the author of this site to see what storylines could be drawn from the results. It was then that the author discovered that league winner Jeff Kelly turned in a scorecard for their foursome with an incorrect score. It was not his score that was incorrect, it was the score of second place finisher overall Jeff Lukasavich. Kelly marked Lukasavich with a 22-20 for a 42 total, good for 4th place for the week. In reviewing the scorecard, Lukasavich in fact shot a 21-20 for a 41, which put him in 2nd place for the week and 1st place overall by 0.25 points overall. Jeff Kelly finished 2nd.
The author immediately reached out to Putter-In-Hand officials to see what the course of action will be, as well as Lukasavich and Kelly to get their reaction and to inform them of the investigation. Lukasavich was reached first. “I’m not surprised at all. I’m not surprised I was the actual winner. I’m not surprised I was cheated out of the glory of being crowned champion. I’m not surprised it was JK who added strokes to my score and claimed my winnings. I will seek a recount and leave it to the league to determine what is right.” When asked if he reviewed the scorecard and counted the strokes Lukasavich laughed “no, I thought a Financial Advisor could add 2’s and 3’s. Apparently not.”
Jeff Kelly struck a defensive tone immediately upon learning about the controversy. “No way! I was extra careful all round! No score went unverified. I cheated no one. I gave Lukasavich the scorecard to check the math and he declined. No cheating involved. It was a mistake”; a mistake that impacted Lukasavich in several ways.
Not only did Lukasavich not be announced as the winner, he was rewarded $55 less and wasn’t able to place the first place trophy on his mantel where it rightfully belongs. “It should be right there” said a saddened Lukasavich while pointing to his LukeOlympics trophy sitting atop of his mantel. “I won that trophy the first year LukeOlympics was held. I won the Putter-In-League championship the first year too. I just don’t have a trophy to show for it, just the memory.” Additionally, Lukasavich lost a side bet to Whitey Ondak, something he has never done before.
When pressed about the error and whether he will turn over to Lukasavich what is rightfully his, Kelly said he would defer to the league for that ruling. League officials refused to comment and said that they are gathering at the scene of the crime this Wednesday, November 25th at 5:30 PM to discuss over a meatloaf dinner and a few beers. The scorecard has been entered into evidence and will be reviewed by the board on Wednesday. Upon learning of the league meeting on Wednesday, fellow putter Steve Steck was ecstatic to learn he would have company at the bar. “I’ll be there!” cried Steck who has vowed to continue league play through the holidays and into the New Year.
While the league is getting set to meet Wednesday, we would like to know what you think. Take this survey and let us know who you think should be crowned Putter-In-Hand Champion.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/TPFGLVD. We’ll stay on top of this story and report on how things turn out.
Thanking the Putt-Putt Gods that this controversy has happened is Tom Barbops whose colossal collapse was inevitable according to some. With a six person lead heading into the final round, Barbops shot a personal worse 49 to finish in 15th place for the week and knocking him down all the way to 4th overall. “I’m a choke artist. I told you 3 weeks ago. Wilson told you last week. I’m not a finisher. Just ask Danielle.” After scoring a 5 on hole 6 and a 3 on 7, Barbops scored a hole-in-one on the 8th hole and thought that was the start of his turn around. But the momentum was short lived as he scored a couple of 3’s and a 4 on the back 9. He figured he had thrown it away, and after the round said “I knew it once I had heard the good scores coming through. Next year I’ll no choke…I hope.” He finished 8-strokes from 1st finishing in 1st place overall.
Not choking was Whitey Ondak who shot a solid 20-21-41, good for 3rd place overall. He had his game face on and was there not to make friends, he meant business. On the 6th hole, after Jeff Kelly scored a hole-in-one, he yelled at Kelly ‘You Suck!’ only to claim that he said ‘You sucker!’. Either case, Ondak had his game face on and is looking forward to next season.
Outside the lead foursome was week 2 winner Mark VeRost, hole-in-one winner Jim Neville, and opening day favorite Scott Wilson. Wilson turned in a personal best 42 and finished 7th place overall. More importantly was that Wilson recorded his first hole-in-one of the season when on the 17th hole he drained his tee shot. “Well overdue. I lipped a few throughout the season but never had one fall.” VeRost, who was in the league champion discussions early in the season, scored a 45, good for 7th place for the week and one spot out of the money in 5th place overall. “Of course I finish just outside of the money. Ever since I put the green jacket on in week-2 I’ve consistently slid downhill, disappointing.” Rounding out the group was Jim Neville. Neville had a very pedestrian round and was figuring to be out of the money anyhow, had a 43 going into the last hole. Figuring he wasn’t playing for anything, stepped up to the 18th hole and drained it for an ace. This shot put him alone in first place for total holes-in-one. “I was glad to take home something. I felt like I played solid every week but never good enough to wear the green jacket. I’ll take this as a constellation prize.”
Next up was the disappointing group Jay Flemming, Tony Remy and Joe Neeson. Flemming, who was a pre-season All-League nominee, finished in 11th place for the week and 11th place overall. Despite switching swing coaches and moving to a belly putter early in the season, Flemming couldn’t string anything together. Some believe his training regime isn’t meant for putt-putt as doing nothing but arms and shoulders makes it difficult to have the proper putting technique. “I don’t care what the naysayers think about my training techniques. I train for the beach and the bar, not putt-putt.” When asked if his training also had something to do with his poor performance on the dartboard and his many loses to Lukasaivch, Harald Rehm and Tim Roesch, he fell silent and provided nothing but a dead stare. After several seconds of awkwardness he quipped “I’ll get revenge at bowling” then stormed off. Remy, who was the week-1 winner and weekly adulterer, finished 7th place for the week and 9th place overall. When asked how he felt he said “Great, I’m only hear to pick up other golfers wife’s and girlfriends. Winning in week-1 was icing on the breast.” When correcting him on the saying “Icing on the cake” he laughed, “Oh no (giggle and a smirk), I meant icing on the breast. Kelly and Brenda were out of whipped cream.” The reporter immediately walked away, never to talk to Remy again that night. Joe Neeson, finishing in 11th place for the week and 12th overall, was disappointed by his finish. “I shot well when I didn’t play with you assholes, I mean that Whitey character. That guy fucking smells. I’ve had nightmares about the smell that came out of his ass. I can’t be on the same course as him without having the jitters, fearing it could happen again. Trapped in the dome with that gas being omitted from his ass is a fear I just can’t get over. Get me the fuck out of here.” Neeson ran for open air.
The first female participant of the year was in the next foursome as Wendy Kimpel joined husband Brian, Kevin Kelly and Dean Trzewieczynski. Brian was clearly showing off as he shot his best round of the season 41. This put Kimpel in 8th place overall. “I’m okay with my finish. I didn’t expect to win and I got better as the weeks went on. I’m looking forward to next season.” Kevin Kelly was also okay with his average performance. “Finishing ahead of Flemming, Trzewieczynski, Mills and Roesch was victory enough for me. Those guys actually care about their score, I care about drinking and wings.” Kelly did mention something at the after-party that ended up being interesting. He asked Lukasavich “So do you think Jeff (referring to his brother Jeff Kelly) really won this and didn’t cheat.” Lukasavich replied “No, I played with him. It was a clean round he scored.” Jeff Kelly just laughed. When asked about this exchange, Lukasavich replied “brothers know best.” Speaking of cheaters, Trzewieczynski continued his descent to the bottom. Trzewieczynski shot his second consecutive 47, putting him in 14th place for the week and 14th place overall. “I started out slow, I peaked (cheated) in the middle but just couldn’t recover post-scandal” cried Trzewieczynski. “I blame Lukasavich. Seeing him atop the leader board every week, the success he has realized and the money he has won from me, I have to be honest, it rattles me. I look cringe to think that the bowling season is coming up. I can’t afford it. I’m not sure what to do.” Some feel Trzewieczynski should retire from all competitions with Lukasavich. Lukasavich hopes that is not the case as his kid’s college fund is dependent on these winnings.
And rounding out the group are the 3-Stooges: Steve Steck, Joe Mills, and Tim Roesch. There really isn’t much to talk about here as Roesch finished in 13th, Mills in 15th and Steck 16th overall. Harald, who didn’t play this week, finished last for the week and last for the season. All four of these men when asked about the season and their poor performance, had the same thing to say “Who gives a shit, it’s putt-putt” and walked away.
And that concludes the inaugural Putter-In-Hand season. Walking into the Dome week one, league officials were a bit nervous on how things would turn out. Would the scoring system hold-up? Would there be enough interest to carry us through the season? Would 6-weeks too much or too little? And a host of other questions and concerns were being felt. But all in all, despite the numerous scandals, and a league champion being up in the air, it was a great season and evidence we’ll be on the course again soon. But if anyone asks, we’ll see you next week. Right Steck?
To close out the year, we ask you to vote on the yearbook awards. Results will be sent out in an upcoming PutterInHand.com post. Vote here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/M9TSHDT
See you next season!